Bipolar Bladder Blunders

Occasionally, and for no discernible reason, I'll be out and about, either at the store or in the car or just on a walk, and, things generally seem okay in the bladder department, as depicted in the anatomically accurate diagram. 

However, as soon as my foot hits the doorstep and I start fumbling for my keys, my bladder goes "OH MY GOSH!!! OH MY GOSH!!! I have to relieve myself RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!! GET THE !@#$ DOOR OPEN!!!!" 

This only increases the speed at which I look for my keys, which means I will most likely drop them, then have to pick them up, while doing that stupid little dance kids do when they need to relieve themselves. Here's to you, bladder!

PLY ON WORDS

If this never happens to you, don't tell me. I'd rather keep believing that I'm a normal human being! —Jason

Christmas!!!

I love this time of year. I love all the decorations, the warmth of the house as I look at the snow outside. I love the look of wonder in my son's eyes as he takes it all in. Such beauty and love in that little boy! I even love the crowded, stuffy malls. Weird, right? I just love being there, knowing that everyone is searching for that one special gift for that special person, and the love associated with it, even if they are crabby about it.  Most of all, I love spending this time with everyone I hold dear, knowing that that love is reciprocated back to me and my family. It's a truly wonderful time of year, and for those unfortunate folks who do not have family near them or friends to help warm your heart this season, I pray that God blesses you with his love this season. To quote Mr. Crummles (Nicholas Nickleby)

What did these people do when their families shrank? They cried their tears but then they did the vital thing. They built a new family, person by person. They came to see that family need not be defined merely as though with whom we share blood, but as those for whom we would give our blood.

Have a truly merry Christmas season.

—Jason